help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
