marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
