I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
