If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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