The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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