She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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