It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
