do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
