you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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