She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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