I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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