he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
