Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize