that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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