Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
