I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
