Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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