Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize