sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
