Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
