I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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