then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
