mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
