I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
