Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
