Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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