So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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