My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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