You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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