I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
