wanna go halves on a baby?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize