guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
