So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
