Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
