i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
