You're completely useless in the revolution.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
