dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
