you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
