I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
