do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
