he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Mom said you looked used
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
