In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Randomize
