You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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