At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
