girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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