Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
