i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
