Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
