She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
