I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
