You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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