What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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